Printable Shopping List

Is this a good first chapter?

Chapter One- What Worrier? “ Heather I am hungry!” Sophia yelled. I put my math homework in my brown backpack and ran out of my green room down the twisty stairs to the dinning room. “What would you like Sophia?” “Hmmmmm pancakes with strawberries mixed in.” Rose walked up to me. “And I want.....” “Why don’t you all just write down what you want?” The words “Good idea dork.” and “ I wish I came up with that.” Was mumbled between Rose and Mark. Two minutes later I got passed a list, well more like thrown. I entered the kitchen. I opened the small white lined paper. On it had a list. Mark: chocolate chip pancakes Sophia: strawberry pancakes Rose: waffles John: Omelette “Great.” I said sarcastically. “ Rose!” I yelled. “I need to go to the store to get some stuff ok?” “Fine but be quick about it!” She quickly replied. “I’m just going to make a list!” “Do I care?” She asked. I ran down to my green room. When I arrived there I grabbed a blank piece of paper. I made a list on it. The list looked something like this. Shopping List 1. chesse 2. pancake mix 3. waffles 4. syrup 5. strawberries 6. chocolate chips 7. butter I picked up the small piece of paper and stuffed it in my small pocket in my purple sweat pants. I grabbed my blue tee shirt and my black running shoes. The store was only a block from my house but still I only wear my pink flip- flops to the beach. After that long pause I ran out the only door I was allowed to use, the one in my room. I jogged outside. Don’t worry I am not one of those boring people who always fall. I am pretty athletic. Within 3 minutes I was at the store. There was a big sign of the store that read: TRAIL ROAD GROCERY STORE Slowly I entered the store painting. I grabbed a grocery cart and pulled out my tiny list. I started over to the produce area. When I turned to grab the strawberries I saw a man looking at me from afar. He was really hansom and well dressed but he had the same black hair as me. I quickly grabbed the strawberries and started walking down to the dairy isle to grab some butter and chesse. Once I arrived there I looked behind me to make sure that the man was not following me. And just my luck of course he was behind me. Evan though Rose and John told me never to talk to strangers I just had to get him to stop following me. “Hey Mr..................” “Heather you are in deep, deep danger.” He interrupted me quietly. “What are you talking about?” I asked. “Has anything ever happened to you that you couldn’t explain?” He replied. “Yeah, allot.” I said after allot of thought. “Do know what happend?” “No.” “ I don’t have much time so let me make this short. You are a sprit worrier.” “A what worrier?” I replied. “A sprit worrier. They can talk ,see and fight sprits. There are only five left in this world, Mary Anne Sue, James John Sue, Peter Dart Mouth, me and you. Heather Tomas Nickel you are a sprit worrier.” “But why am I in danger?” “Every sprit worrier is in danger. Many sprits are after them. I don’t have much longer to talk, but call me whenever something weird happens.” He gave me a bisnuss card. Then quickly and swiftly he ran out the door. I looked at the card he gave me. On it it said: Tomas Van Deitzel Owner of The Daily Prophet Phone- 250-554-8989 Cell- 250-443-9043 Address- 443 Fishing Road “Tomas Van Deitzel, Eh?” I exclaimed out load. Interesting. I grabbed the milk and chesse and started over to the pancake mix, then waffles, then chocolate chips then syrup. I prosed to the checkout counter and paid the total of $13.89. I started out the door. To my surprise Robert was there. “Hey Heather.......” I exited the building and started running home. “What’s eating her?” He exclmed. Once I arrived home I ran to the kitchen made everything that everyone wanted. I gave the food to everyone and rushed to my room. Quickly I opened my diary and flipped to an empty page. I wrote: Dear Diary, Today was very wierd. I met a man named Tomas Van Deitzel. Apparently I am a sprit worrier. Now I know why every thing has been happening. A spirt worrier is a person who can see, talk and fight spirts. Tommarow I am going to call Tomas and find out more. Also tommarow is Robert’s birthday! Yea! Bye Till Then Heather It's by a ten year old.

Public Comments

1. Wonderful for a 10 year old! Keep at it!
2. good work
3. Do you mean spirit warrior? Because otherwise it means you're worrying about spirts, whatever they are. You may not think it matters, but you need to spell and punctuate properly and use proper grammar. Those are the basic tools of a writer Also, it's not very exciting to print out a shopping list. And, you don't have to assign a color to every item you mention. It's fine for a 10-year-old, I guess, but I didn't know they allow people of that age on YA. Edit: Oh, yeah, thumbs down. Tell the kid she's great. Give her a certificate, like they hand out in elementary schools like toilet paper. She won't improve if nobody points out where improvement is needed. If she wants to hear that it's wonderful, she can get that from her mother. Seriously, is she writing about a spirit warrior? She can't even spell it. That's not good, right?
4. Well, for a ten year old, yeah that is pretty good! Keep practicing and one day, you might be a best seller!